Two days ago, on a whim I decided to update my profile on social media sites like Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. I actually regret the decision.
Specially my decision to update my LinkedIn profile.
All I did was, I announced that currently I am on my own, blogging, teaching and consulting.
I have been since that fateful day inundated with congrats messages. Most of these messages are standardised. "Congrats on your new job" as they say. I realised that LinkedIn has sent a message to my contacts saying that I have a new job. Since I updated my current status, the LinkedIn alogrithms deduced that I have a new job (I do admit being on my own is a new job, technically!) and it sent a message asking my contacts to congratulate me with one click. And voila I received about hundred or so such message.
I am not unhappy about the messages but what has disappointed me that most of my contacts didn't even bother to find out what was the new job, was it actually a job. They did a politically correct thing. Sent me a standardised message. On their part they had done their duty. Congratulated me. A social obligation had been removed from their chest. They were now free. Instead of wishing me because they want to, instead of conveying their heartfelt emotions, instead of sharing my new adventure, most of my contacts had actually unburdened themselves.
The interesting part is that if none of these messages had come I would have not felt bad or left out. Even if a fraction of these had come, with warm personal wishes, I would have been more thrilled. And believe me I would not have counted and been sad that I got only x messages. But I speak for myself.
It's truly a numbers game. Maybe people get excited by the many messages they get and not the warmth or sincerity in the messages. Like the Axe click ad, maybe people today are keeping a tab on if they have hit the hundred or five hundred mark. Mine is bigger than yours seems to be the norm.
So while we celebrate togetherness, information exchange, thousands of friends and contacts, the warmth of human empathy instead of increasing, has decreased. The world has become small but the coldness between people has increased.
If I have 2000 contacts on LinkedIn, I am sure personally I would know maybe 50, max. Rest I have networked with. That in itself is a great thing. No grudging that. But if I have 2000 contacts I am sure everyday at least one out of them is doing something new. Rather than me trying to find out what exactly is the new thing that they are doing and not wishing someone I would much rather just wish and get it done with. Basic human psychology at play. So don't blame LinkedIn for that.
And it's not limited to just LinkedIn. Facebook is the same. It constantly reminds me of birthdays or anniversaries and I feel obliged to wish. I am not sure if it has some standardised messages also. But the Like button is a good example of standardising. With one click I con convey my standardised feeling to my "friend". In fact on Facebook the use of Like button has become a theatre of absurd. Somebody's parent passes away and he or she writes a poignant note and it has 100 likes. There is a report of a natural calamity and there are a thousand likes. There is an appeal for charity for a cause and there will be 10,000 likes but maybe 1000 actual donations.....
The curse of standardisation started off as convenience but it has now morphed into an ogre. I think the biggest drawback of this standardisation is that we have become more insensitive. Exactly the opposite of what social media is supposed to do.
So my friends next time, before you hit like button or want to send off a congratulation one liner, think for a second, find out what is the reality and then spend another minute in sending a personal message. You will discover that the recipient will be more prone to remember your message.
Yes, some of my well wishers actually did send me personalised messages, queries and even tips. I will cherish those 18 messages much more than the 107 "congrats" messages that I have received till now.
Specially my decision to update my LinkedIn profile.
All I did was, I announced that currently I am on my own, blogging, teaching and consulting.
I have been since that fateful day inundated with congrats messages. Most of these messages are standardised. "Congrats on your new job" as they say. I realised that LinkedIn has sent a message to my contacts saying that I have a new job. Since I updated my current status, the LinkedIn alogrithms deduced that I have a new job (I do admit being on my own is a new job, technically!) and it sent a message asking my contacts to congratulate me with one click. And voila I received about hundred or so such message.
I am not unhappy about the messages but what has disappointed me that most of my contacts didn't even bother to find out what was the new job, was it actually a job. They did a politically correct thing. Sent me a standardised message. On their part they had done their duty. Congratulated me. A social obligation had been removed from their chest. They were now free. Instead of wishing me because they want to, instead of conveying their heartfelt emotions, instead of sharing my new adventure, most of my contacts had actually unburdened themselves.
The interesting part is that if none of these messages had come I would have not felt bad or left out. Even if a fraction of these had come, with warm personal wishes, I would have been more thrilled. And believe me I would not have counted and been sad that I got only x messages. But I speak for myself.
It's truly a numbers game. Maybe people get excited by the many messages they get and not the warmth or sincerity in the messages. Like the Axe click ad, maybe people today are keeping a tab on if they have hit the hundred or five hundred mark. Mine is bigger than yours seems to be the norm.
So while we celebrate togetherness, information exchange, thousands of friends and contacts, the warmth of human empathy instead of increasing, has decreased. The world has become small but the coldness between people has increased.
If I have 2000 contacts on LinkedIn, I am sure personally I would know maybe 50, max. Rest I have networked with. That in itself is a great thing. No grudging that. But if I have 2000 contacts I am sure everyday at least one out of them is doing something new. Rather than me trying to find out what exactly is the new thing that they are doing and not wishing someone I would much rather just wish and get it done with. Basic human psychology at play. So don't blame LinkedIn for that.
And it's not limited to just LinkedIn. Facebook is the same. It constantly reminds me of birthdays or anniversaries and I feel obliged to wish. I am not sure if it has some standardised messages also. But the Like button is a good example of standardising. With one click I con convey my standardised feeling to my "friend". In fact on Facebook the use of Like button has become a theatre of absurd. Somebody's parent passes away and he or she writes a poignant note and it has 100 likes. There is a report of a natural calamity and there are a thousand likes. There is an appeal for charity for a cause and there will be 10,000 likes but maybe 1000 actual donations.....
The curse of standardisation started off as convenience but it has now morphed into an ogre. I think the biggest drawback of this standardisation is that we have become more insensitive. Exactly the opposite of what social media is supposed to do.
So my friends next time, before you hit like button or want to send off a congratulation one liner, think for a second, find out what is the reality and then spend another minute in sending a personal message. You will discover that the recipient will be more prone to remember your message.
Yes, some of my well wishers actually did send me personalised messages, queries and even tips. I will cherish those 18 messages much more than the 107 "congrats" messages that I have received till now.
